gayzio: tatterdemalionvulpine: gayzio: In Canada, you don’t say ‘I love you’. You say ‘EH EH MAPLE LEAF QUEEN HAM BACON MOOSE ANTLER EH’ which roughly translates into ‘I’ll give you my snow shovel.’ I think that’s beautiful. “HOCKEY HOCKEY MAPLE LEAF PUCK.” what the fuck did you just say about my mom
witneyhouston: im having one of those nights where u watch one youtube video and watch a related video and 3 hours later ur watching an hour long conspiracy documentary about how the illuminati killed michael jackson
When planning story: This is great! I can go far with this.
When writing story: No I can't.
manxoverboard: hey you know what? band members can smoke band members can drink band members can do drugs band members can fuck girls or guys band members can get married and have partners band members can have kids band members can quit the band and you know what else? there aint a damn thing you can do about it because you’re probably 13/14 years old and they don’t care what you think
neatpotatoes: teachers who complain about grading work
mixedbyziggy: rescue three white women who have been missing for a decade, and a baby become a national hero pull and even bosser move and tell the fbi to give the reward money to the victims media decides to dig into your past, and bring up your criminal record. wonderful time to be black in america.
revivingpeeta: tumblr ruined my life but made it better somehow
me: mom im done
mom: excuse me??
me: ive had it. im dropping out
mom: who do you think you are???
me: i'm done with the fake bitches. the homework. all of it
mom: you're in 2nd grade
me: no one gets me
basedgodniall: ziggymalik: nip-slippin-stylinson: ziggymalik: when are they gonna make 1D fruit snacks cause i wanna bite the head off a blueberry harry WHAT IF THEY PUT A CARROT IN THERE its a tight bag… u sure you can fit?
zackisontumblr: introducing people to each other and then they hang out without you
dilclo: today in study hall i fell asleep so someone slammed a book on the floor to wake me up and when i did everyone in the class was pretending to sleep and i didnt know what to do so i put my head back down and cried
I love my abs so much that I keep a layer of fat...
adamusprime: No Harvard graduate has ever solved this riddle. See if you can crack it! I am ill, I am real, I might got a deal. I pop bottles and I have the right kind of build. I am cold, I am dope, I might sell coke. I’m always in the air, but I never fly coach. What am I?
where the hell is my boyfriend
Reblog this if you're still a virgin.
lamseylindbert: I want to see how many people are proud of it. We’re like unicorns
me: if ugliness was measured in bricks i would be the great wall of china
butthurtbandboys: why does everyone think one direction fans listen to only one direction and no other music